The Real History of Ska

Now thanks to MTV and network radio Top 40 shows, we've been proven to be idiots.
Ask any alternateen and they'll tell you the real history of ska:

     Ska was created about five years by music masterminds No Doubt, where they thought it would be a good idea to speed up reggae, play it on the upbeat, and throw in horns for a new sound. This whole idea didn't get popular until last summer when No Doubt and Goldfinger released their second and first albums, which are now considered ska classics.

     Meanwhile 311 has been busy influencing the Specials, and ska has gotten popular with people all over the country. Recently the Bosstones have created ska-core. Ignore their previous six albums: these were made when they "sucked" and should be ignored or else you suck. As usual, there is a style you have to follow to be a super-cool "rudie," which is what you have to call somebody that likes ska, or once again, you suck.

     If you are a guy that likes ska you have to wear Jnco jeans, and to size them, take your normal waist size and add 50%. For a shirt just wear a Foo Fighters ringer. They used to play horns in the school band, so they're ska. Make sure to wear your wallet chain, so that people now you're punk. Also don't forget your pager. If you wear your pager other rudies will know that you're the cat's meow.

     If you are a girl wear a baby doll ringer that says a cute riot grrrl band, you know, like Veruca Salt. Then add your plasticky-looking pants and you're set.

     Now you ask, "What do I do at a ska show?" Well, most people like to skank. There's no right way to skank, but if you want to be cool, you'll use a combination of moshing, with the occasional stage dive. Then If you want to skank the other cool way, throw your hands in the ay-yair if you's a true player, and shake your ass around like on the Grind. Have fun! Skank safely! Kurt Loder is my god!

*sigh* Yet more proof of MTV's idiocy...