Well a lot of you had never heard of Boxing Day,
so I thought I'd see if
you'd heard of this holiday. I, Scott Hagedorn, give you another
Rash-a-shana! One more thing, I can't believe it! I was
watching some movie
called the Wizard of Oz, I've heard this story before, and just how
can you screw this story that badly? A couple of years ago my
celebrating that fun holiday of Rash-a-Shana. You know the
everyone gets naked and rolls around in poison ivy to celebrate the
ancient itching gods. Anyway we were all celebrating that fun
when my uncle
tells us the the Wizard of Oz story. Uncle Ozwald was a pretty
cool guy, he
was a magician in the local carnival, and man could he tell us
anyway, I was watching that fun Wizard of Oz thing and I thought I'd
tell you all how the story really goes. After all, it's Uncle
life. First of
all I don't know how Dorothy became the main character; she was just
bare-ho with a wining mutt. Uncle Ozwald had been celebrating
shana and of course when you're celebrating the holiday you get a
Well we all came out of the woods to see Uncle Ozwald there scratching
himself. We asked him about this strange behavior and he told
us the story
the Wicked Itch of the North and he commenced to kill the Wicked Itch
South. We thought that was a little strange so he told us this huge
"Scott me boy", he says, " you need to listen to what I tell ye."
wasn't English or anything; he just never learned to say you.
It turns out
Uncle Oz had been drinking a little too much lately. He was
night when he started commencing to pee on this brick driveway.
Now the owner
of this house wasn't appreciative of her yellow brick drive so she
cops. The police made Uncle Oz follow the yellow brick drive
all the way up
to the Emerald house that the old gizzard lived in. Low and
it was the
same bare-ho he met earlier in the week that didn't know where she
had to accompany Uncle Oz downtown for a while because she came to
smoking some sort of grass. It tuns out this lady was a
had ten men at her house. They went downtown to meet some
was supposed to get them off the hook.
Now Uncle Oz and these
bad, but they weren't saints either. Uncle Oz thought it would
be funny to
spend their time in jail by pulling pranks on one another while waiting
the cowardly liar to get them off the hook. Uncle Oz had some
stuck on him from his rolling. He thought it would be funny to
get the bare-
ho to smoke it. Low and behold she did. They all started
wicked itches of the north and south. The guards and another
old gizzard let
them go because of their tactics to quit the itching. Hehe, they even
some water on the main old gizzard trying to douse their itching.
anyway, that's how the real story goes. So next time you see
the Wizard of Oz
you know what really happened.
Munchkins? You want to know
where they came
from? Well the bare-ho had been here and there and everywhere
and those my
friends are her children. It was after this story that my family
and I quit
celebrating Rash-a-shana, it was also the last time I asked Uncle
explain why he was always scratching himself.
And that my friends
last day of Rash-a-shana for the Hagedorn family.