Well a lot of you had never heard of Boxing Day,  so I thought I'd see if you'd heard of this holiday.  I, Scott Hagedorn, give you another fun holiday:
Rash-a-shana!  One more thing, I can't believe it!  I was watching some movie called the Wizard of Oz, I've heard this story before, and just how the heck
can you screw this story that badly?  A couple of years ago my family was celebrating that fun holiday of Rash-a-Shana.  You know the holiday where
everyone gets naked and rolls around in poison ivy to celebrate the ancient itching gods.  Anyway we were all celebrating that fun holiday when my uncle
tells us the the Wizard of Oz story.  Uncle Ozwald was a pretty cool guy, he was a magician in the local carnival, and man could he tell us stories.  Well
anyway, I was watching that fun Wizard of Oz thing and I thought I'd tell you all how the story really goes.  After all, it's Uncle Ozwald's life.  First of
all I don't know how Dorothy became the main character; she was just some bare-ho with a wining mutt.  Uncle Ozwald had been celebrating the Rash-a-
shana and of course when you're celebrating the holiday you get a little itch.

Well we all came out of the woods to see Uncle Ozwald there scratching himself.  We asked him about this strange behavior and he told us the story the Wicked Itch of the North and he commenced to kill the Wicked Itch of the South. We thought that was a little strange so he told us this huge story.

"Scott me boy", he says, " you need to listen to what I tell ye."  Uncle Oz wasn't English or anything; he just never learned to say you.  It turns out Uncle Oz had been drinking a little too much lately.  He was really drunk one night when he started commencing to pee on this brick driveway.  Now the owner of this house wasn't appreciative of her yellow brick drive so she called the cops.  The police made Uncle Oz follow the yellow brick drive all the way up to the Emerald house that the old gizzard lived in.  Low and behold it was the same bare-ho he met earlier in the week that didn't know where she lived.  She had to accompany Uncle Oz downtown for a while because she came to the door smoking some sort of grass.  It tuns out this lady was a prostitute and she had ten men at her house.  They went downtown to meet some cowardly liar that was supposed to get them off the hook.

Now Uncle Oz and these people weren't bad, but they weren't saints either.  Uncle Oz thought it would be funny to spend their time in jail by pulling pranks on one another while waiting for the cowardly liar to get them off the hook.  Uncle Oz had some poison ivy stuck on him from his rolling.  He thought it would be funny to get the bare- ho to smoke it.  Low and behold she did.  They all started scratching the wicked itches of the north and south.  The guards and another old gizzard let
them go because of their tactics to quit the itching. Hehe, they even spilt some water on the main old gizzard trying to douse their itching.  Well anyway, that's how the real story goes.  So next time you see the Wizard of Oz you know what really happened.

Munchkins?  You want to know where they came from?  Well the bare-ho had been here and there and everywhere and those my friends are her children.  It was after this story that my family and I quit celebrating Rash-a-shana, it was also the last time I asked Uncle Ozwald to explain why he was always scratching himself. 

And that my friends was the last day of Rash-a-shana for the Hagedorn family.