The Long Lost Rough Draft
of the
10 Commandments
    In 1993, a rough draft of the Ten Commandments was found in an obscure cave off the coast of the Indian Ocean, in what was once the country of Malomar. Juan Paul Santiago, famous Spanish explorer, found the draft written on a cocktail napkin from a long ago closed bar.
    Not authenticated until 1997, this draft wound up in the possession of Fuzzie Chicken Productions, and we are happy to bring you the proof that there was indeed some type of thought process involved in the writing of the famous rules. So without further ado... 
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, unless thy neighbor has gone on a business trip, and she gardens in no but the skimpiest or raiments, and is a hottie.

9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's man servant, especially if YE be a man, as such acts of perversion peeve Me, thy Lord. Also, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's beasts of burden, as they are smelly and icky.

8. Thou shalt protect the unicorns above thyself, as well as the dodo, the carrier pigeon, and the Native American, as they are my most beloved children.

7. Thou shalt wash thine hands after exiting the room of baths. Also shalt thou fill the ice cube tray upon emptying it, not leaving in it but one cube. Also shalt thou be sure to close the door in winter, as the entire neighborhood need not be kept warm by thine fire.

6. Thou shalt not take...moochers...into thine...hut...

5. (Unreadable due to beer mug ring)

4. I am the Lord thy God, and forget it not, lest I slappest thine ass for thine ignorance.

3. Thou shalt not use @$%#^#!$% profanity, lest I *@##!!*!! you up, and vent my $#%$$^*&^!! wrath upon your @$^^%$#$@!!!

2. Don't fuck with da Lord.

1. Check out the rack on that cocktail waitress...