Stuben Goes To the Drugstore

Stuben was angry. He was very, very angry. Nothing seemed to be going right. He had had insomnia for weeks. The explicit photos of he and Daffy Duck had been turned over to the press. His stocks were crashing. The FBI had been watching him like a hawk. And his lips were chapped. Of all is problems, the latter seemed to be the one which upset him the most.

But at least this was a problem that was easily remedied. Stuben threw on his coat and hat, grabbed his SUPRA ELECTRO DEATH RAY FROM HELL 2002! and walked out the door.


He arrived shortly at the local drug store and went inside. He found some chapstick (Strawberry! Yum!) and set it on the counter. The druggist looked at him and asked, “Will that be cash, check, or charge?” Before Stuben could answer, the druggist chortled and said “Or should I just put it on your bill?”

Stuben chuckled mildly. He then whipped out his SUPRA ELECTRO DEATH RAY FROM HELL 2002! and proceeded to turn the druggist into a smoldering lump. Fearing that a fire might ensue and burn up his closest repository of condoms, enemas, and porn, Stuben pissed on the smoking corpse, making sure that not one bit of the ex-person was left glowing. He then took his chapstick, put it on his bill, scowling, and turned to leave.

There was a large man blocking the door…

(To be continued in Stuben and the Large Man in the Doorway)