Welcome to Kansas

August 4
Dear Mom,
     Well, we're in Kansas now!!!  We moved into the new house yesterday and we're unpacking during the next week.  We only have until Friday, because that's when I start the new job!
     No more time to write - Mary's fine, the kids are great.  I hope everything is going well for you and Pop.

            Love,
            Joe


August 10
Dear Mom,
     Oh, mom, I wish you could be here!  It's so beautiful!  The trees are so lush, and there are flowers everywhere!!
     It's so much more than I expected - it's not all wheat and cattle.  This is such a spectacular place!  Outside our bedroom window is a wonderful view of rolling green pastures!  I can't imagine a more placid, serene place.
     Work is going well, so well in fact that I just bought a new car!  I got a Lincoln Town Car!  We're moving up!
     Mary's doing wonderfully, she opens up the lawfirm on Monday. Maggie and Megan are totally in love with this place - they finally have a yard to play in!
     Well, that's it for now.  I'll write you back soon.
            Love,
            Joe


August 15
Dear Mom,
     We experienced our first storm yesterday.  The kids got scared from all the thunder and lightening, but luckily we just got some rain.

August 16
    More storms today.  We had rain and pea sized hail.  Last night the tornado sirens went off, but luckily we didn't have any.  However, the power did go out.
 
August 17
    The sun finally came out today!  The weather is beautiful, and the ground dried out in no time!  I can't believe there were tornadoes a mile away just yesterday!
    Everyone's fine, but the car's a little dinged up.  We had golf-ball sized hail last night.

August 18
    I'm writing this with a candle flame in the basement.  Sirens going off, twisters everywhere, grapefruit sized hail.  The kids are scared and so is Mary.  It's very drear, to say the least.

August 19
    Our tree is gone now - a tornado took it out last night.  Coconut sized hail severely damaged my car, it's going in for repairs in a week.
    The lawn looks like hell, but luckily the house survived.
    The sun is out and shining brightly.  What an odd state...
    I'll write you again soon.
            Love,
            Joe

August 27
Dear Mom,
     How are you?  How's pop?  Everyone here is fine, except that it has been raining straight for five days. Our lawn is flooded and the street in front of our house is under tree feet of water.  The new car's back in the shop, the other day I hydroplaned and hit a gaurdrail.
     The basement is starting to leak, but the weatherman swears the rain will let off tomorrow.

August 28
    More rain.  Basement's flooded.  Sod went away.
    At least I got my car back at last.

August 29
    My car floated away early this morning.  I think it's somewhere upstream, I mean downtown.

August 30
    The damn sun came out today!  The water has receded almost totally.
    Except from our basement.
    Car's back in the shop.
    More later.
            Love,
            Joe

September 8
Dear Mom,
     It's so beautiful here now!  Fall in Kansas...who knew it was so pretty?  The leaves are turning colors and falling all over.  It's like walking in confetti everyday.
     We raked for the first time yesterday, and the yard looked good. But at six this morning it was covered again.  Oh well, que sera sera!
            Love
            Joe

Sept. 10
Dear Mom,
     The leaves are everywhere.  In the lawn.  On the roof.  In the carpet.  Stuffed in the gutter.  In my car.  Everywhere.
     Oh well, it could be worse.  At least it's not raining.

Sept. 11
    It's raining.  The goddamned leaves are now STUCK to everything.

Sept. 12
    It's sunny today and we had a high of 92 degrees at noon.  I hate it here.

Sept.13
    It's snowing!  It's september and it's snowing!  This is so bizarre!
    How do these people take it?  Is this NORMAL???

Sept.14
Sunny and 88.  I hate it here.
            Love,
            Joe

October 31
Dear Mom,
     It's snowing on Halloween!  We've already had three inches in two hours!  It's amazing!  The kids and I and Mary went out and built
snowmen and then drank hot chocolate!  In October yet!
     As I look out on the lanscape, it's so quiet and serene.  The snow is over everything, so perfect and white.

November 1
    The snowplows buried our driveway today.  Not that it mattered.  My car won't start anyway.  After I smashed in a window (the locks were
frozen) I found out that the engine was dead.
     The snow was pretty.  And then the road grime and tire dust and filth of humanity destroyed it.  Fucking state.

November 3
    The snow is gone.  The sun came out and melted it today.  It's 93.
    And a tornado hit us yesterday.  The car was placed gently in the new tree.

November 4
    I wore my shorts to work today.  I'm writing this from the hospital where I was brought after hypothermia set in at 4:00 this afternoon.
    I hate this place.
            Love,
            Joe

December 20
Dear Mom,
     More goddamned mother fucking white shit on everything.  Can't see the car anymore.  The dog died of frostbite, and Megan hurt her tongue when it got frozen to an apple.
     Pipes froze - well, no, let me rephrase that - first the heating tape froze, than the pipes froze.
     I am in hell.
            -Joe

Jan. 2
Mom,
     We had a pool party for New Year's.  We threw it in our basement.
     Which is now a pool.
            -Joe

Jan. 17
Mom,
     The snow has left.  Now the ice is here.  Car went into a tree because of it.  Powerlines are down now.  The new tree fell over. Hate Kansas.  Hate the weather.  Hate Bryan Busby.
            -Joe

Jan. 30
Mom,
     Sunny and warm.  Fuckin' highs in the goddamn nineties.  Fucking goddamned piece of shit state of kansas.
            -Joe

Feb. 15
Mom,
     Finally the bizarre weather stopped.  It's been normal spring weather for a few days.  I like this.

Feb. 16
Six inches of fuckin rain in one hour.  The first story of our house is flooded.  We were evacuated by National Guard troops.  The car is full of mud and debris.

Mar. 2
    OH SWEET JESUS!!!  WHAT DID I DO???!!!  The house is ruined, the car is ruined, the tree is in the driveway, Megan was killed when a drinking straw went through her!  Shit!  I hate this goddamned fucking weather!
     We were staying at the National Guard station.
     But then a tornado took it away.
            Love,
            Joe

Mom-
    Gonna kill Bryan Busby.
    Don't try to stop me.
    I'm going to hit him with my car.
    And make him stop.
    He is the one doing this.
    And I must end it.
    I must end HIM...
            -joey

mom-
    car gone.
    mary gone.
    kids gone.
    just me.
    and kansas.
    one will win.
    one will die.
   somewhereovertherainbowsomewhereovertherainbowsomewhereovertherainbowsomewhereovertherainbowsomewhereovertherainbowsomewhereovertherainbow
somewhereovertherainbowsomewhereovertherainbowsomewhereovertherainbow
            -joey