My Favorite Debauched Things


LOCAL MUSIC VERSION

Puking in alleys and sleeping on couches
Moshing in pits and counting the ouches

When the skins fight, when AndyBob sings
These are a few of my favorite things

Shows at the Bottleneck and bottles of Killian's
Smoking on porches while the beers are all chillin'

Driving too drunk to hear police sirens ring
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in tight dresses with no underwear
Turning me down, they're not willing to share

Begging the doorman 'cause no change to go cling
These are a few of my favorite things

When I'm broke, when the band sucks, like they're beyond bad
I simply remember my favourite things and then I don't feel so bad



FRANKLY DEPRAVED VERSION

Pissing on roses and dropkicking kittens
Strangling children with their own woolen mittens

Lebanese hostages tied up with string
These are a few of my favorite things

Mashing up ponies into pony strudel
Using my switchblade to cut off your noodle

Using my hatchet to clip birdy's wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Molesting young boys with their blue Boy Scout sashes
Semen all over their nose and eyelashes

Drowning my victims in picturesque springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the cop knocks, when the snitch squeals, when I'm on the lam
I simply remember my favorite things and then I don't feel so bad