I Dumped You for Her


sung to the tune of “Hey Leonardo! (She Likes Me for Me!)” by Blessid Union of Souls

I don’t care about your car
And I don’t care about your money
Not like you ever spent any on me anyways
But if you did, I’d still have left you.

I dumped you for her!
Not because she’s so much better looking
I just got sick of your hooking
And sleeping with my friends
And what I see
Are your faults and there are plenty
Your problems are so petty
Why didn’t I see it all before?

I got sick of all your screaming
And your collection of STDs
You think Married With Children is funny
Well I got news for ya honey

I don’t care that she gets higher
Than anyone I’ve ever known
She’s better in every way
Than you on any day
Even when she’s really stoned.

I dumped you for her!
Not because she’s stacked like a model
Or ‘cause she’s a good foot taller
At least more than three feet
She’s the one for me!
And I just can’t be around you
My arms belong around her
And I’m so glad I dumped you yet again.

And I’m so glad I dumped you once again!
And I’m so glad I dumped you once again!
Gazing at the ceiling
As I try to spare your feelings and your heart
I’m sorry that I hurt you,
But I’m glad that I’m not with  anymore.

I dumped you for her.
Not because I think that you’re a nut job
Or because she’ll give me blowjobs.
<sigh>
I dumped you for her.
Not because she’s fun to hang around with
She does more than sit and bitch
Why did I waste all that time with you
I was desperate I guess but now I’m through
Now I’m through.

I dumped you for her!
Not because you never listen to me
Or because you’re such a baby
Just deal with life’s problems!
But what I see
Is that I can do without you
My arms belong around her
And I’m so glad I’ve dumped you yet again
Dumped you yet again.
I’m so glad I’ve left you once again,
Once again.