Robb's On the Pill

    I went to the doctor today and did indeed go through with the Zyban prescription.

    For anyone who doesn't know, I have been kicking around getting on this magical happy drug called Zyban, which is a medication to help people quit smoking.

    How it works (if you care) is that you fill the prescription, and call a number, and they send you $150 worth of stop-smoking aids.  You get it in two days and then start taking the pills. You are actually (this is the part I like) SUPPOSED to keep smoking for two weeks while on the medication, cutting down the whole time.

    Then you increase the dosage of pills each day.  You quit smoking in two weeks, and stay on the medication for another ten weeks. Sounds relatively painless to me.

    I will miss smoking, but decided that I care too much about myself and my non-smoking friends to continue. See, I realized that when you truly care about yourself and your loved ones, you are willing to quit the filthy, disgusting, unhealthy habit of smoking. If your love is real, it is no sacrifice to kick the cancer sticks.  Stop killing myself in front of my friends, family, and loved ones?  Absolutely!

    I seriously question what kind of "human" would not respect the people they "love" enough to do something like quit paying $3.50 for each pocket-sized pack of suicide sticks.  I mean, really, I care about myself and those I love.  I don't want to be a two-faced bastard anymore, acting like I don't smoke when non-smoking friends are around me, or even stop smoking around them because it's "polite."  Polite is quitting.  What better display of your true feelings than to save your own life? It seems like a small price to pay.

    I pity all those who aren't willing to try to change one of the world's most disgusting and lethal habits for themselves or those they care about. You sorry sacks of shit.

    I just can't stress enough how great this Zyban is.  I took my first pill today and it cut my urges to smoke almost right away.  Normally I am a packadayplus smoker, and I had five cigarettes today.  Five.  It is so great.

    If you care about someone who smokes, tell them about it.  This is truly a miracle drug.  I can't believe I considered not going on it, when quitting smoking is the best decision I've ever made!

    I was a selfish, uncaring swine before.  I didn't care who my smoking hurt, including myself and those closest to me.  What kind of beast would do that?

    Well, I am not going to be a beast any longer.  As of today, I am reforming.  I am a new man. A man who actually cares about himself and others. Not like when I smoked, and cared more about where the money for my next carton was coming from.  As any smoker will tell you, you would gladly watch any person on earth die a horrible death than quit.  No matter how much you say you love someone, when you smoke they will always be number 2.  Sad, but true.

    I am so glad that I made the decision to take this painless, quick, healthy and 100% proven alternative.  I feel better about myself, and realize even better how much my friends and loved ones mean to me. Goodbye, and good luck!

    All I'm really saying is that with an easy, cheap alternative out there, why not take it?  It's extremely selfish and stupid not to. Is it worth giving up stinky little stix of death to save your life?  Oh, yeah, I think so. A life with cigarettes is not a life worth living. And you won't live long if you smoke.  My doctor told me about a guy who he is treating for cancer.  He smokes less than a pack a day, is 23 years old, and has lung cancer.

    He also told me of a patient who went from FOUR PACKS A DAY to nothing in three weeks on Zyban. It's pretty much fool proof, and the drug itself has a 96% success rate.

    And now to again push the point of giving up smoking for others, I would like to send you all some statistics off the card enclosed with my pills:

    2 out of 3 smokers quit for family or loved ones
    Second hand smoke, while less harmful than smoking, causes emphysema and asthma, as well as damaging the
olfactory senses.
    The earlier you quit, the better your chances are of living a longer, healthier life.
    Smoking leads to heart disease and other complications of the circulatory system, which lead to such problems as heart attacks, strokes, clots, high blood pressure, impotence, lack of endurance during physical activity, and decreased oxygen flow to vital organs.
    Smoking is proven to lead to over thirty-seven known birth defects.
    It takes approximately five weeks for lungs to recover from smoking damage to the cilia.  It takes them approximately one year to recover from tumors.  They will never recover from terminal cancer.

    In other words, smoking will kill you, and seriously fuck up those nonsmokers around you.  Not to mention the emotional torment they go through while they watch you DIE.

    I'd say that with such an easy, affordable solution out there as Zyban, to not quit is the worst decision of your life.

    I guess it's ok if you hate your friends' lives as much as your own.  I have decided that I no longer want to kill myself and others.

    I care too much.