Transvestite Fest 2000

I was sittin' at Perkins late tonight
Finally gettin done with some shit that I meant to write
A week ago
Suckin' on cancer sticks
And wishin
I could slip my dick
In the two hot chicks
Sittin next to me
When what do I see
About thirty ugly bitches in dresses and jewelry
Walkin towards me
I didn't think much about it
And then I realized "Holy shit!"
Those are fuckin' guys
With makeup on their eyes
Carryin' purses and wearin' lipstick
And lookin' at me like they want my dick!
So I sipped my coffee and tried to ignore
But the hostess put 'em right next door
That fuckin' whore
So now I'm sittin' next to a bunch of freaks
Who have lisps when they speak
I wished they would die and go away
I ain't got a problem with fags as long as they stay
Where they belong
So I put my headphones on
And worked on my paper
But I was waitin' for one of these child rapers
To come across the room and grab my ass
They'd think it was funny 'til I rubbed his face in broken glass
Goddamned queens were loud as fuck
Screamin' in their high pitched voices
And all those other queer little faggot noises
The manager came over and told them to shut the fuck up
And they did for a good two minutes then they started right back up
I figured I could handle about another five minutes tops
Then screw it, I was callin' the cops
It should be illegal to have a dick and wear a dress
Lifestyle choice or not you're a fuckin' mess
If you dress like a woman because you're gay
When most women are fucking bitches anyway
I got fed up and asked them nice
Would they shut the fuck up, hell, I asked 'em twice
One of 'em asked me if I was done with my muffin
So fuck it I got up and fuckin' punched him
I was about to hit another and make him hurt
And get blood all over his sequinced shirt
When a little fairy about four feet high
Grabbed my arm and said "What are you doin'?  Oh God, why?"
So I stuck my finger in his fuckin' eye
Then I got my bookbag and pulled out a glock
Thought twice about it
And beat him to death with a twelve inch black rubber cock
He'd had in his purse
The other little pussies screamed and cursed
They tried to scratch my eyes out
But it didn't work
I beat the shit outta all them cock suckin' little jerks
The manager came over and asked me to leave
So I grabbed that black bitch by her fuckin' weave
And kicked her in the face a coupla times
Said "Here's a tip bitch, don't fuck with me!
All I really wanted was a cup of coffee
So get off me
Of course I'm gonna shoot
Not my fault these fuckin' fruits
Get let inside a public place
I'll blast every one in their fuckin' face!
I'm down with bein' gay
That's ok
But I was tryin' to get shit done
So goddamned straight I'ma pull out my gun
And blast 'em all
Straight ta hell
Fuck 'em all
I shoot you too bitch!
For pissin' me off!"
So I shot that goddamned slut
And I put the fags against tha wall
And shot 'em all
Then I finished my coffee and went to see Nick at work for a little bit.

the end.