Another 101 Ways
To Be Annoying
Okay, people! Here it is! Yet another 101
ways to be annoying. I have included specific examples of the people
who inspired some of these. Not all of them are mine. A buddy
helped with some of them, but I’m not giving him credit just to piss him
off (See #96).
1.Constantly hum one note quietly.
2. Learn how to make that barely audible noise that TVs and computer
3. Always wear mittens.
4. At the end of homework assignments, write “This paper has been brought
to you by the
letter P and the numbers 6 and 45.” (Craig)
5. Do everything real half-assed.
6. Dye your hair a different color every week.
7. Write “101” lists. (Rob, me)
8. Write sequels to “101” lists. (Rob, me)
9. Interpret all artwork in a perverted sexual manner.
10. Interpret everything in a perverted sexual manner. (Everybody I
11. When somebody speaks, pick a word out of the sentence and do the
Butthead “Huh huh, he said (insert word here), huh huh.” (Craig)
12. Have a uterus. (All the chicks I know)
13. Shave words or pictures in your hair.
14. Show people the chewed food in your mouth. (Rob)
15. Two words: Rob McKinney.
16. Two more: Paul Serena.
17. Say things like “Two words:...” and then say three.
18. Hug everybody.
19. Call people “Big guy” or Babe”
20. Leave garbage on the lunch table at school so other people
are called out of class to
clean up after your sloppy ass. (Rob)
21. One word: Wrestlers.
22. Respond to everyone in song titles and lyrics.
23. Leve lettes ut f wods.
24. When watching TV or movies, snicker and repeat witty lines.
25. Breathe through your mouth.
26. Use up all the hot water in the shower.
27. Constantly change the screen saver, background, and color
and sound schemes on
28. Put musical greetings on your answering machine.
29. Call someone’s machine and leave long blank messages. (Me,
and all those other
assholes out there)
30. Stare at the ceiling, mouth agape in awe, and see how many
people you can get to
31. Pretend to have no knowledge about sex whatsoever, including
clueless about the slang phrases.
32. Use very small font sizes.
33. Use really huge font sizes.
34.Feign ignorance about slang terminology.
35. To be annoying To everyone you know,
Just speak in Haiku.
36. Take a Tamagotchi with you everywhere.
37. Balance all light switches in the middle.
38. Run around the grocery store turning products backwards and
way back on the shelves.
39. Fill several grocery carts to dangerous levels, leave them
blocking an aisle, and walk
out of the store.
40. Start drinking Marachino cherry juice out of the bottles
until you get kicked out of
the store, or until your heart stops.
41. Glue those little magnetic bar code hingies to the inside
of people’s clothing.
42. Pop zits in public.
44. Put lots of space between all your words.
45. Like Yoda, speak you all the time.
46. Learn how to sleep with your eyes half open.
47. Pick a spot on your neighbor’s yard and pee on it every night.
(Urine kills grass).
48. Spell words with yor urine in your neighbor’s grass.
49. Turn on all the faucets in a friend’s house to a slow trickle.
50. Attempt the “Vulcan Neck Pinch” on everybody you meet.
51. Insist that nonexistant things exist.
52. Constantly ask those paradox questions: “If God is
all-powerful, can he create a rock
that even he can’t lift?” (Craig)
53. Put dye in washing machines at the laundromat.
55. Sing one segment an overplayed song all the time, over and
over again, slightly out
of tune, always screwing up one word.
56. Make a fist and draw little contour maps on your knuckles.
57. Whether you smoke or not, always wander around with an unlit
tightly in your lips.
58. Fold every piece of paper you own six times, with sharp creases.
59. Remove every page from somebody’s note book, one at a time,
crumple it into a tiny
little ball, and drop it casually onto the floor.
60.Make kissy faces at people you don’t know.
61. On rainy days, squeak your shoes on linoleum.
62. Exagerate lip movements drastically when speaking.
63. Speak in a monotone.
64. Fluctuate pitch wildly and randomly.
65. uSE irREguLar CAPiTaLiZATiON.
66. Use; inappro-priate/ punctuation?
67. Put curses on people. (many of my friends)
68. Adjust your crotch in public. If your a guy, that is.
Chicks who handle themselves
like that just arouse guys.
69. Giggle pervertedly at the number 69 (Teehee, heh heh ha!
70. Mix numerous foreign languages randomly into your sentences
when you speak.
71. Talk ye in Olde English.
72. Quote Winnie the Pooh at inappropriate times. (Tut,
Tut! It looks like rain!)
73. Make little dripping noises with your mouth.
74. Ceaselessly sing the chorus to Will Smith’s Gettin’ Jiggy
Wit’ It. (Me, Rob)
75. “Narrate your life in the third person,” Paul typed.
76. Put a small harmonica in your mouth and breath through it.
77. Give people (those you know and complete and utter strangers
alike) noogies and
scream in a twistedly manic voice, “NOOGIE NOOGIE NOOGIE!!!”
78. Lightly blow on the neck of the person sitting in front of
you, and feign ignorance
about it when questioned or hit.
79. Swear a lot, even by today’s standards, and don’t do it properly
even then. (Steve
80. Pronounce “wash” as “worsh” (My father)
81. Dot your ‘i’s with little hearts.
82. It has come to my attention that #81 has already been done.
That’s pretty damn
83. If you’re white, just try to dance like a black guy. (Guilty
84. Sexually harrass your friends’ girlfriends. (Who?
85. After shaking hands with somebody you don’t know, wipe your
hand on a hankie.
86. When having a conversation, stand close to the person and
speak slightly above
87. When having a conversation, stand away from the person and
speak slightly below
88. Mow your lawn a 5:30am in the middle of winter.
89. Go to the supermarket and switch all the can labels.
90. When somebody says “Don’t apologize,” apologize.
91. Use “emoticons” :) :| :( ;)
92. Drive five below the posted legal limit.
93. Use pseudo-cuss words like “darn,” “heck,” and “fudge.”
94. Pretend that white male heterosexual Americans aren’t superior.
(All you minorities)
95. Tickle people in the ribs (Val).
96. Drink all your friend’s family’s Capri Suns so he gets chewed
out by his Nazi
parents. (All my friends)
97. Just before your friend goes to take a shit in your bathroom,
remove the toilet paper
and pray he doesn’t notice until it’s too late.
98. In indelible ink, write “Hi Mom!” in the middle of every
page in your friend’s
99. Run into other people’s churches screaming “I AM JESUS CHRIST
INCARNATE!!!” during mass. (Rob)
100. Leave #101 off 101 lists.