2. Glue those little saint statues all over your dashboard.
3. Always say "knock-knock" when entering a room.
4. Always say "beep-beep" when someone's in your way.
5. Tell strangers about your dreams.
6. Every day, pick a letter to not pronounce.
7. Refer to yourself in the third person.
8. Talk like a Thirties gangster, yous guys.
9. Talk like a Nineties gangsta, yo.
10. Always misspell edukasheun.
11. Drop things into other peoples' shopping carts when they're not watching.
12. Nvr wrt wth vwls.
13. Mess up famous quotes like "Luke, I am Darth Vader," or "Ich bin ein Berlin person."
14. Start alphabet games on long bus trips.
15. Three words - parrots and profanity.
16. Go through the grocery line with two carts full of food, and after they are rung up, remember that you "accidentally" left your wallet at home.
17. Make casual observations about people like "My, you're wearing earth tones," or "Gee, your hair is black."
18. Make change in the collection plate at church.
19. Talk in CB lingo, over.
20. Narrate people's lives to them in the form of Dick and Jane stories.
21. Ask your Spanish teacher for help in calculus, and vice versa.
22. Proclaim and celebrate your own holidays like "National SPAM Week" or "Glassware Day."
23. Show video footage of your child's delivery at dinner parties.
24. Show slides at dinner parties.
25. Play the air guitar.
26. When someone gives you advice or asks you for a favor, say that you can't because it's exactly what "They'd" be expecting.
27. Actually lick your Tootsie Roll Pop until you get to the Tootsie Roll center.
28. Finish eating twenty minutes before everyone else.
29. Finish eating twenty minutes after everyone else.
30. Cheat obviously at board games.
31. Express extreme guilt when you kill bugs.
32. Give people ill-fitting nicknames.
33. Spit when going downhill on rollercoasters.
34. Ask the youngest clerk at Blockbuster for help finding the most obscure B movies from the thirties that you can think of.
35. Ask people's opinions about this "Danged minority problem."
36. Send chain letters.
37. Keep trying to stuff that same, torn, dirty, worn dollar bill into the Coke machine until the line behind you is at least eight people long.
38. Put the letter "A" in front of any verb that ends in -ing.
39. Constantly drive five below the speed limit in the right hand lane.
40. Buy a slingshot and twenty guppies at Wal-Mart.
41. Bend restaurant eating utensils.
42. Insist on trying to open people's locked doors with paper clips.
43. Check the coin returns on pay phones while other people are using them.
44. Pay toll collectors with fifties.
45. Rewind rental videos - but only halfway.
46. Play "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" incessantly during July.
47. Say "clump," "flop," or "squeak" every time you take a step.
48. Buy a jar of Vaseline and a men's muscle building magazine at the same time from a drug store.
49. Check out thirty books from the library, put them in the night deposit box, and go back for more.
50. When people ask what you'd like to do for a living, tell them you'd like to be a Bulgarian spy.
51. Pass out party favors at funerals.
52. Memorize and volunteer the scientific names of hundreds of insects.
53. Take bites out of Styrofoam cups.
54. Carefully fold and save wrapping paper.
55. Scream and drop to the floor when anybody sneezes.
56. Spit. Noisily.
57. Learn how to play obscure Tibetan instruments.
58. Wear sunglasses in movie theaters.
59. Ask people how they want to die.
60. Strike up a conversation with the guy at the next urinal.
61. Dot your "i's" with little hearts.
62. Prop open the front exit in a movie theater.
63. Give fruitcakes for birthday presents.
64. Do the "cabbage patch" during the National Anthem.
65. Order a platter of nothing but free garnish at a fancy restaurant.
66. "Accidentally" switch your girlfriend's X-mas gift from Victoria's Secret with the tie for her father.
67. Eat chocolate and garlic before a dental checkup.
68. Point out that nothing rhymes with "nostril."
69. Laugh vulgarly every time you hear the number sixty-nine.
70. Hang posters with Duct tape.
71. Tape comic strips you tore out of the paper all over your desk and cubicle walls.
72. Shove people and then hold up a roll of Mentos and smile.
73. Order a salad, hold the lettuce.
74. Juggle. Badly.
75. To be annoying all the time, speak in rhythm and talk in rhyme.
76. Describe the brutality of slaughterhouses to someone eating a steak.
77. Sit on a public restroom floor eating a bag of animal crackers and offer them to people as they come in.
78. Volunteer your opinions about the benefits of masturbation.
79. Only write on bright yellow legal pads with purple ink.
80. Stick your gum on the tops of tables.
81. Learn Bushman and feign ignorance about any other language.
83. After you give somebody the time, scream "...And aaaaalll's we-ell!"
84. Ask people where babies come from.
85. Refer to Canadians as "those damn Frostbacks."
86. Address strangers as "Cuddles" and/or "Boopsie."
87. Ask people if they are "jiggy wit' it," and then what it means.
88. Tell people that you are the king of funky dudes.
89. Try to get up a rousing game of freeze tag in church.
90. Try to catch people's fish in your hands.
91. Make an Oscar-caliber theatrical production over the fact that you must urinate.
92. Rustle potato chip bags in front of the phone receiver and tell the other party that it must be their phone, since yours has never done anything like that.
93. Be obvious about avoiding security guards in airports.
94. Keep hitting any key on your keyboard that makes your computer beep.
95. Show people what's in your mouth during meals.
96. Try to see what's in other people's mouths during meals.
97. Make "vroom-vroom" noises when you ride a bicycle.
98. Call the police station and ask whether the legal age of consent is twelve or thirteen.
99. Order only in Spanish at Taco Bell.
100. Get in a heated argument with your driver's ed teacher, insisting that "E" stands for "enough" and "F" stands for "fillerup".
101. Roll around the room on a swivel chair at top speed screaming "Wheeeeee!!!"