Some Warning Signs That You May Be Married To A Contact Killer

Your spouse has ever bought piano wire - and they don’t play the piano.
If they’ve ever carried a guitar case to work - and they don’t play the guitar.

If they work on a cleaning crew that utilizes flame throwers and hydrochloric

If they consider pitch black, midnight black, and ebony three different colors.

If they’ve ever corrected anything in the Anarchist’s cookbook.

If they’ve ever closed the blinds and turned up the radio to have a serious

If the sheets on your bed are made of Kevlar.

If they’ve ever gone deer hunting with a silencer on their rifle.

If you’ve been married for thirty years and you still have no idea what they
do for a living.

If the only tools they own are a hacksaw and a cement mixer.

If all their telescopes have crosshairs.

If they’ve ever taken notes during a Quentin Tarentino movie.

If they’re a little “too” good at Lethal Enforcers and Time Crisis.

If they own any framed photos of Oswald or Boothe.

If they always go by all three names.