All I Need to Know About Life
I Learned from James Bond Movies
Any woman with more than two lines is
in on it * Every inanimate thing you own should have no less than thirteen
functions * No matter how intense your life is, you can kill and have sex
and still keep a PG-13 rating * Only Bond, James Bond can say his last
name first and still sound cool * Insane geniuses always look like insane
geniuses * Martinis should be shaken and not stirred * Q can get you anything
you need for any occasion * There’s always a way out * The bad guys always
miss-- the good guys only need one shot * For 2 1/2 hours in the theater,
every man watching is James Bond * No villain can just die- each must die
special, horrible, poetically ironic deaths * NEVER trust a beautiful woman
* The Russians are always involved * Always bet on double-zero * You only
live twice * Sean Connery’s still the best one * No matter how many times
you hear the theme, it’s still as good as it was the first time * Someone
is always watching the entrance * Yes, you are being followed * Luck and
convenience walk hand in hand * The stuntmen make it look so easy * Everything
you need to save the world fits conveniently into your pockets * Heroes
never die- they just get replaced by younger actors * Her Majesty thanks
you * You will always be saved at the last minute * Be a cunning linguist
* The Walther PPK is British Special Forces standard issue * If you want
to take over the world, never stop to explain your plans to the spies.