101 Ways to Tell You Need to Move Out of Your
1. You live in your parent's basement.
2. If you have one or more of the following posters within eyesight:
superheroes, wizards, dragons, or elves with psychotic grins.
3. If your Friday nights consist of playing Magic- the Gathering whilst
eating Chee-Tos and drinkin Mountain Dew.
4. You take the Red Dragon Inn seriously.
5. You spend more time chatting online than talking to rel people.
6. You have several magazines under your bed for the "articles."
7. Girls are still "icky."
8. You have more than one "Weird Al" CD in your disc changer.
9. Your mom thinks you're cool.
10. You're described as a "late bloomer."
11. An hours-long discussion of Captain Kirk versus Captain Picard
is not uncommon.
12. If youre wardrobe consist of more than one Star Wars t-shirt.
13. Your X-Men Underoos have holes in them from wearing them too often.
14. Movement about the room is difficult due to the tunnels formed
by the neormous amount of comic boxes.
15. You know by heart Clark Kent's social security number.
16. You worship Dr. Demento as God.
17. You have an altarr built to Dana Scully (complete with blood-red
candles, courtesy of your bllod).
18. You know of the sun.
19. You have unnaturally large muscles in your right wrist.
20. You're really good at surfing the 'Net with one hand.
21. Profeesional wresting is fake?
22. That plate of furry things has been wandering about the room for
a few days.
23. But you don't mind, since it reminds you of a Tribble.
24. You can set things on fire with your glasses.
25. You can lubricate a car with the grease from your hair.
26. You have more than one empty jar of Vaseline.
27. When your "reading material" gets old, you resort to the Sears
28. It takes you more than fifteen minutes to get out of the house,
due to choosing which Star Trek pin to wear.
29. As you leave the driveway, you say, "Ahead, warp factor nine, engage."
30. You are on a first-name basis with the owner of the local comic
31. You anxiously await the new shipment of Spawn toys at Wal-Mart.
32. You need to buy a new hard drive due to the large amount of, ahem,
"art" on the old one.
33. You actually believe that girl you met online is 5'11", 36DD, a
supermodel, or for that matter, a girl.
34. You know to the second what time the girl next door takes her shower.
35. You find Richard Lewis and Paul Reiser funny.
36. Yesterday you framed you restraining order from Leonard Nimoy.
37. You connected all the zits on your face/back/ass with a magic marker
and they spelled out "loser."
38. You can't sign your checks without putting "dot com" at the end.
39. You can't watch your computer boot up with a disk in the drive
without thinking of sexual innuendos.
40. Your girlfriend comes over (an off chance, yes) and you actually
watch the movie.
41. You want to be a superhero just to wear the tights.
42. If you've ever dressed as a superhero/Star Wars/Star Trek character
for a comic/sci-fi convention.
43. And your mom made it for you.
44. If you have to buy Visine especially for "computer geeks."
45. You don't do drugs, as D.A.R.E. had such an impact on you.
46. You find it funny to pretend you're gay.
47. Your refer to the Weekly World News as the "the paper."
48. The phrase "NWO for life" regularly passes you lips.
49. Paying for your date does not mean dinner and a movie.
50. You can tell to the second when the first installment of the prequels
51. You don't need to have it explained that that refers to the Star
52. You find yourself humming the theme to "Debbie Does Dallas."
53. All of your jobs have either involved your name on your shirt and/or
54. You make 101 lists.
55. Shaving your back is a regular, and fun, activity.
56. You don't like to go out, since people look at you "funny."
57. And its because you're not a big fan of wearing pants.
58. Or underwear.
59. If you've ever shaved your head to look like Cpt. Picard.
60. Or worn a toupee to look like Cpt. Kirk.
61. Or gotten breast implants to look like Counselor Troi.
62. You think school's fun.
63. If you think that "Revenge of the Nerds" is a documentary.
64. If you can eat your weight in Cheez-Wiz.
65. And have.
66. If the one time you tried beer, your projectile vomiting displaced
a spy satellite.
67. "Weird Al" is your hero.
68. If you've ever shaved your palms.
69. You looked at this number and giggled.
70. You change in the dark to avoid the blinding glare.
71. You hang out after school with your teachers.
72. You look forward to calculus homework, 'cause it's fun.
73. You're happy, because you identify with so many of the items on
74. You tape episodes of "Batman" so you don't miss any important plot
75. The highlight of your month is when the new Victoria's Secret catalog
76. You need to have most jokes explained to you.
77. If you've ever tried to put the fun back in funeral.
78. Any time you hug a female friend, you have to apologize for the
pencil in your pocket.
79. You really identify with the lyrics in every Nirvana song.
80. You consider being called "geek" a compliment.
81. You check your e-mail more than five times a day, as it's your
only contact with the outside world.
82. You can recite every major character in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
83. And are proud of this.
84. You still refer to breasts as "boobies."
85. You run a web site.
86. All the librarians know you by first name.
87. The only time you've seen breasts is on yourself.
88. You've had sex hundreds of times, you'd just like to try it with
89. The one and only time you ever went on a date, you cupped both
hands in front of you and went "honk, honk."
90. You think Bill gates is one hep cat.
91. You think using the phrase "hep cat" makes you cool.
92. You sit arouns acting out Monty Python sketches with your pals.
93. Or worse, make up your own.
94. Helium provides hours of endless giggling.
95. You make up top ten lists, and e-mail them to your friends, since
you think you're David Letterman.
96. Talking to girls consists mainly of trying to remember your name
and trying to look at their eyes.
97. You make up fake girlfriends so your parents don't think you're
98. If you go out on a date, you have to call your mom and check in.
99. And you're 33.
100. You've ever stayed up for a marathon of any kind on tv.
101. You read this entire list, hoping to see your name come up as
an example (Nicko, Craig, Paul, Rob, Tony).