ON GAYS
This will probably be the most inflammatory thing I will ever write.  I know I’ll be getting
some letters over this.  But I have to give my opinion of the whole “gay thing.”
 Now first off, I want it stated that this isn’t intended to victimize, accuse,
persecute, or incite anybody, gay or not.  It’s just things as I see them.
 I used to be against gays.  Not actually homosexual persons, but people who
have homosexual sex.  See, I was brought up believing it’s okay to be gay, just don’t act
on it.  It’s like if I want to kill my entire family, okay, that’s fine, just don’t do it.
 All evidence I’ve seen makes me believe that homosexuality is a disorder in the
brain.  It’s like a switch.  Gay women and heterosexual men have it in one position, gay
men and heterosexual women have it in another.  It’s some sort of chemical or physical
imbalance, thus making it something that they can’t help or control, and as of yet, can’t
“cure.”
 So I therefore believe that, right or wrong, homosexuality is a sexual disorder,
one of the oldest, but still something that some people can’t avoid.
 Some religions have a moral dilemma with homosexuality.  But my question to
them is, if homosexuality is a physical problem, how can it be wrong?  That’s suggesting
that God Himself goofed and created a bad person.  If they simply can’t help what they
feel, how can they use free will to govern it?
 But to total sympathizers of homosexuals, I have to say one thing.  If you are
forgiving of one type of sexual disorder or chemical imbalance in the brain, you must
accept them all.  Pedophiles, sadomasochists, people who practice bestiality - you can’t
take one without the others.  You don’t welcome people with one type of mental
retardation, and shun hose with another.  You can’t do that with sexual disorders.  It’s all
or none.

JUST CALL THEM WHAT THEY ARE

 Fag is a slang term for cigarettes in the UK.  A fagot or faggot is a bundle of twigs
or sticks used for kindling.  Gay is when you are happy.  Queer is something strange.
Dykes  is a variant spelling for dikes, which are walls or embankments built to hold back
water.  Faeries or fairies are mythical sprites.  Fruits are like vegetables, only sweeter.
 They’re homosexuals.  Get it right, you dumbshits.  I mean, for the most part,
politically correct, coffee house, tree-hugging pricks can kiss my ass, but c’mon, do we
have to use firmly established words for slang terms?  You can’t say, “My, I feel quite gay
today, even in this queer situation.  I think I’ll go out back and suck down a fag and eat a
fruit.” anymore without people looking at you funny.
 Maybe we should make up new words.  Like “Bwundies,” or “The Shangtius
People.”