DRIVE DEFENSIVELY -- AND REMEMBER, THE BEST DEFENSE IS A
GOOD OFFENSE.

      THE ONLY RED LIGHTS YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO ARE THE
ONES ON TOP OF POLICE CARS.

      IN REGARD TO SPEED LIMITS -- YOU SHOULD NEVER BE ONE TO
LIMIT YOURSELF.

      MOTORCYCLES ONLY REQUIRE 1/8 OF THE LANE.

      COMPACTS CAN GET BY WITH 2/3.

      MORONS DRIVE TOO FAST, IDIOTS DRIVE TOO SLOW, AND JERKS
DRIVE THE SPEED LIMIT.

      YOU'RE CUTTING ME OFF IF I CAN SEE YOU GO IN FRONT OF ME.

      THE HEALTHIER THE PEDESTRIAN, THE MORE POINTS THEIR WORTH.

      SCHOOL ZONE, SCHMOOL ZONE.

      CROSSWALKS SHOULD BE REFLEX TESTS FOR PEDESTRIANS, AND
TARGET PRACTICE FOR DRIVERS.

      FOLLOW THE GUYS WITH THE RADAR DETECTORS ON THEIR
DASHBOARDS.

      OF ALL THE LAWS YOU BREAK, THOSE OF PHYSICS ARE THE MOST
FUN

      THERE WOULDN'T BE SO MANY DRUNK DRIVING ACCIDENTS IF
PEOPLE WOULD LEARN HOW TO DRINK AND DRIVE.

      A YELLOW TRAFFIC LIGHT SHOULD BE ROUGHLY EQUIVALENT TO
ADDING TWENTY POUNDS TO YOUR ACCELERATOR.

      THE ONLY CORRECT SPEED LIMIT IS THE ONE I'M DRIVING.

      ALWAYS HAVE THE STEREO UP LOUD ENOUGH TO OBLITERATE THE
SOUNDS OF HORNS, SQUEALING TIRES, AND SCREAMS.