Choose Your Own Nuthouse

Section 91

<>(Paul)

Beyond all reason, it would seem that you have escaped. Sure, you’re going to have nightmares for the rest of your life, but at least you’ll HAVE a rest of your life.

Utterly exhausted and psychologically scarred, you begin the long walk to town, where you intend to call home for a ride. It’s not fully struck you yet that all your friends are dead, there’s a horrible evil brewing in scenic Lake Doomhole, not to mention the fact that something called “The Pit of Insufferable Misery” even exists*. And your car’s gone. You’re really pissed about that. You’d just paid it off. It figures.

The sun has come up by the time you get to the town. You find a 7-11 and look for a payphone, but there doesn’t seem to be one. You go inside, there doesn’t seem to be a clerk there. In fact, come to think of it, you haven’t seen a single person. You get that sinking feeling, the one you imagine characters in Stephen King novels get a lot.

There is a noise behind you. You turn just in time to see the Twinkie display falling on you! You scramble, lose your balance, and fall. Your head cracks across the counter in just the right way to kill you instantly. You are buried under a hug pile of cream filled sponge cakes.

The 7-11 clerk comes out of the bathroom, sees the mess and mumbles irritable, “I’m not even supposed to be here today.”

*Editor’s Note: If for some reason you have no idea what the “Pit of Insufferable Misery” is, go back and try some other paths, I’m sure you’ll stumble upon it…