Choose Your Own Nuthouse


Section 84

<>(Sean)

            “Wow… I would have figured you for dead mister.” She yells down innocently

            “Well not from lack of trying… twat… Umm, if you got a minute do you think you can help me out of here and maybe to the hospital? You see, my car broke down and I was trying to hitch a ride to Lake Doomhole and after everything that has happened to me thus far I’m just going to call it a day.”

            “Oh… I’m sorry you are having a bad day, is there anything I can do to help?”

            “The hospital?”

            “Well D’uh” the woman disappears from your sight and reruns with a rope “So what else has happened to you today? Has this been the worst?”

            “Which question do you want answered first?

            “Umm… the second one”

            “Yes”

            “Yes what?”

            Yes. This is the worst that has happened to me today.”

            “Well you don’t need to take that tone with me. I’m only trying to help.”

            “Bullshit. You are only trying to cover your ass, the fact that I’m alive and coherent baffling to medical science.”

            “No I’m trying to help.”

            “Then why did you speed up and veer towards me? Huh?!?”

            “Well I don’t stop for hitchhikers.”

            “So you kill them?!?”

            “No, they are smart enough to jump out of the way.”

            “So now I’m the dumbass for YOU hitting ME with YOUR car?!?”

            “Well… yes.”

            “I can’t believe this. You know what. Just leave me here in the ditch and I will wait for the emergency crews to arrive.”

            “Why would they becoming?” she says with a smirk

            “Because there has been an accident and they show up at accidents.”

            “Only if you call them.”

            “Well, do that.”

            “No.”

            WHAT?!?!” you scream in disbelief. “What do you mean NO!!!”

            “You are rude and I don’t like rude people. Besides, you should bleed out here any minute anyways.”

            “you sick bitch”

            “Well I hope that this teaches you a lesson.”

            “Lesson, what the fuck is the lesson I will be learning if you leave me here to die?”

            “Not to be a dumbass… the narrators warned you.”

            “Okay now you are as creepy as that damn disembodied voice.”

            “lame”

            “Excuse me?”

            “You heard me… lame”

            “What?”

            “That is what this is lame. It is dragging out way to long and is really going no where so I’m calling it… lame”

            “What are you talking about?!?!?!?!?!?”

            “Nevermind… ummm… sleep now”

            “Wha…“ But everything fades into glorious sleep.