Choose Your Own Nuthouse


Section 76

<>(Nick)
 

            You crouch behind a large bush and attempt to think still thoughts. You think of large boulders, mountains, your ex-girlfriend in bed… things like that. However, being as how you’ve been working an office job for two years, where the most strenuous thing required of you is stapling memos, your legs aren’t up to crouching for longer than say, thirty seconds.

            At second thirty-one, your legs give one last quiver and give out, crashing you to the ground. In a flash, Chris is standing over you.

            “Heeeeeeeeeey, man… what’s up” you ask feebly.

            “Oh, nothing,” Chris replies. “Just waiting for you to show where you were hiding, so I could take some time to talk to you about how you broke up my family and ruined my life.”

            “Yeah. Um. ‘Bout that,” you say, but get no further, since the sound of your voice seems to have sent Chris into some sort of rage. This rage results in him bouncing your skull off the ground like a basketball (no mean feat, being as how skulls aren’t really all that bouncy).

            In between shrieks at the mind-boggling amount of pain, you attempt to reason with Chris.

            “Y’know… OW… we should really just… OW… just sit down… OWOWOW… talk this out… OW… over a couple… OW… couple drinks… OWOWOWOWOW.”

            This does not appear to work at all. As a matter of fact, it seems that Chris is not so much trying to bounce your noggin against the forest floor as he is trying to make your part of the forest floor. The back of your head feels awfully wet, and your vision has gotten pretty fuzzy… except for that one little white light that seems to be getting bigger.

<>            Ohshit.

            Editor’s Note:  Well mushy-skull boy, you done be dead.  I suggest you go back and try a different path.