Choose Your Own Nuthouse
“I’ll save you!” You yell, and hurl the rope into the lake, heroically. It whangs nice-tits girl on the head. Bits of skin slough off into the boiling blood (eww), and she sinks. So does the bundle of rope, which you probably should have tied to something or at least un-knotted before flinging it (what distance, though! Got an arm on you, boy!) into Lake Doomhole. You curse loudly and go tearing back to the car to find more rope or some other suitable life-saving device. You are about halfway there when your gut suddenly clenches violently and pain radiates from your distressed (to say the least) intestines. You hit the ground, vomit blossoming (well, more like launching spectacularly) from your mouth and nose and, horribly, your ears. You don’t even wanna know what has to be going on for that to happen. You are convulsing in the dirt (or, more accurately, vomit-mud), thrashing like an epileptic. Your body is one big…one big pain-y…thing. You’d be really upset about that if it wasn’t for all the pain and, oh yeah, all the vomit (bloody vomit, at that) spewing from your facial orifices. And now- isn’t this grand- you are shitting yourself. Badly. Catastrophically. You are in a really bad way here. You begin to break out in hives, not that you’re really aware of it, but the itching is terrible. On top of the pain. And the vomit. And the…well, you know. Plus, now the urine jetting out of your swollen (?!!?) genitals. Not erect, mind you. Swollen. In fact, you are swelling up all over the place and you’re pretty sure you’re weeping blood. You cannot breathe. Not just because of the vomiting, but because your esophagus and tongue have swollen up also. You’d think one woulda been enough, but they both had to go so you’re doubly fucked. Your left lung collapses. Again, this is just beating the dead horse. It’s not like the vomit and swollen respiratory system weren’t already suffocating you. And Christ, who would have thought one body could hold so much…well, horrible stuff. You are still going, without any sign of stopping. Some part of your heart stops. Your hair begins to fall out. Your body temperature skyrockets. Your fingernails drop off. You can’t really tell, (except for the most spectacular display of blue objects) but your brain has swollen into the sides of your skull. You thrash so violently that you begin to snap bones. A few fingers. Foot. Arm. A rib. Tissue tears. Inside. One of your eyes swells. Bigger. Bigger. Bigger. Pop! It explodes loudly. You can’t hear it, though because as you’ll remember, you have vomit spluttering out of your ears. Your teeth gnash together and grind. And shatter. It’s good that you’re more or less comatose at this point because the pain is amazing. The approach of death dulls the agony, but not completely. All there is any more is the pain, and those freaky cool blue objects resulting from your brain swelling. And there’s this one tiny part of your agony-ravaged mind that’s wondering what in fuck’s name was going on. Seriously, this is just bizarre. Is it some sort of virus? Or, like, a death beam or something? Yeah. Death beam. From, like aliens and shit. Fucking aliens. As your stomach begins to swell with some horrible type of gas being produced by God knows what kind of horrible…um, gas making…thingy… you have another thought. Food poisoning, perhaps? Yeah, maybe. Those Oreos were pretty old. There’d been some sorta “Beauty and the Beast” tie in on the package. Anyway, it’s a pretty moot point because your car, parked on a slight incline without a parking brake on, has been slowly sliding toward you. It rolls over your head, mostly killing you, and slips into the boiling blood of Lake Doomhole. Mostly dead now, you body nonetheless continues to spasm, leak (well, eject. Enthusiastically), swell, pop, itch, and hallucinate for a few seconds before you pretty much just explode all over the place, spreading your already sizable mess even further into the night.<> The reek is, like, awful. Be glad you’re too dead to smell it.
You are most definitely dead, and also mostly liquified. Go back to the previous section, Oreo Boy<>