Choose Your Own Nuthouse

Section 47

<>(Sean)

Sliding the belt down and across your chest, you hear a comforting click. Well, step one done. What was step two? Oh! Yeah. Go limp. You go limp. Ok, that is two. Step three hoping that the driver’s side airbag works. Hmmm… Are you hoping? I am; so let’s check that one off as well.

Ok, so now you are belted in, limp, and praying that the airbag works and you are doing this at last count 122mph through a forest. This shouldn’t take long. As the trees continue to whip by you feel a little uncomfortable because creepy John has stopped hitting his head against and has started singing with the voice on the radio.

“He’s got the whole world in his hand…” they sing in unison

Now, if I where you I would pray for that tree and the airbag to fail, because we all know your luck. I mean really, I think that death maybe your only way out.

“…the whole wide world in his hand…”

Wow, that is scary, but really annoying AND the fact that you haven’t hit a tree yet is baffling. Look, Creepy John does look really happy though. Would you rob him of that? That is just mean. You are not mean, are you?

“Yes he is…” The voice said “John look out he is going to try and kill you with your own knife”

“He’s got the whole worl.. What? NO!” John looks at you in complete fear and hides Louis from you on the other side of the car. You undo your belt and jump for John.

“Give me that knife! I can’t take it anymore! One of us is going to die here!”

“NO! I just want to go to the lake. Why are you doing this?”

“John this is for your own good.” As you grab for Louis

With the two of you wrestling for the knife you feel better about yourself. You are getting closer to your goal. The crazy old man is weaker than you. Victory is assured. With your eye on the prize you wonder things like, where are we going, what is stabbing me in the side… he is not wearing pants you know, how much longer till we hit Lake Doomhole? Well, I will answer at least one of those questions for you and I know you don’t want to what is stabbing you in the side; I mean really dude… he is not wearing pants. However if you want to know when you are going to hit Lake Doomhole I got good news for you, you are not going to hit Lake Doomhole. In fact that at this very moment you run head first into an Oak. I have even more good news for you the driver’s side airbag is fully functional and deploys its life saving goodness in record time. This, this however is where I have to tell you the bad news. The bad news is that you are in the lap of a mad man and you are not wearing your seat belt.

So you, you my friend at thrown from your car at 122mph into another majestic oak tree. As your body is being liquefied, I would like to put your mind at ease. John is fine and once again seatbelts save lives.