Section 45
<>(Nick)As you open the door, preparing to hurtle yourself into the blackness, you can’t help but notice the pavement is moving awfully fast a very short distance away from your body. You take another look into the car and notice that John is starting to caress Louis the Knife in a way that is beginning to look disturbingly sexual.
You decide to opt for the possibility of instantaneous death rather than the possibility of a very long and certainly painful three-way of doom. You brace yourself, unclick your seatbelt, and toss yourself out of the car.
Several excruciatingly flesh tearing and bone breaking bumps, thumps, and rolls later, you discover that Lake Doomhole was, in fact, closer than you had thought. You discover this by falling twenty feet off a cliff into the lake.
The landing is softer than you expected. This is mainly because you hit the water not as a tensed up body, but as a loose configuration of bones and organs in a skin wrapping. You’d probably even appreciate the cooling temperature of the water, were it not for the fact that it’s difficult to swim and lounge in the water without the use of your arms and legs.
You slowly sink to the bottom of the lake, where your body will become home to several very appreciative bottom-dwelling creatures and eventually be discovered by a very surprised group of tourists in a glass bottomed boat.