Choose Your Own Nuthouse

Section 33


You spy Dave standing next to his cabin. You’re about to wave and say “hi”, but you want to follow him and see what sort of deviousness he’s been up to. That, and you’re unsure if he saw you grabbing his girlfriend’s ass and calling her “sugar tits” earlier.

Dave looks carefully around (not too carefully, because he didn’t see you), and begins skulking in the general direction of the woods that surround Lake Doomhole (also known as the Sex Woods, the Condom Forest, and “that bunch of trees where the kids go to screw”).

You carefully follow him, being sure to stay several dozen yards behind him at all times, as well as keeping as quiet as possible. As you follow Dave down a tiny path through the woods, you can’t help but wonder what business he has so deep in the boonies, rather than romping in a bacchanalian way with the rest of the crew. It must be pretty important, you figure.

After what seems like an hour of nonstop hiking/skulking/following, you see a decrepit-looking cabin ahead. Dave walks up to the front door of the cabin, and unlocks it with a key he pulls from his pocket. He goes inside and shuts the door behind him.

You slowly make your way to the cabin and sneak around to one of the shack’s grimy side windows. You peek inside and are astounded at what you see before you. It appears that Dave has a secret sanctuary… one that is lined wall-to-wall with very amazingly shiny and pointy and sharp weapons.

<>            Dave is sitting at the cabin’s only piece of furniture, a large table that’s equipped with a sharpening stone. He sits there, muttering to himself. You think he may be saying “I am the angel of death; the time of the purification is at hand.” Then again, you’re trying to listen through a window, and it may be “I have bad breath; the taste of Binaca is so grand.”

Do you:

Listen more closely – 72

Run away like the very devil is at your heels – 73

Bust in the door and confront Dave about what he’s doing – 74