Choose Your Own Nuthouse

Section 14


            “Well, chief, I appreciate your concern, and really, I’m not just saying that.  It’s just that, like I said before, I’ve known my friends for a lot longer than I’ve known you.  So, put yourself in my shoes (assuming you disembodied voices wear shoes…).  Who would you trust?” you say as casually as you possibly can.

            “The creepy disembodied voice,” it says.


            “No, really.”


            “Oh yeah.”


            “Because I know the voice can predict the future,” the voice says.  “Look, you are about to sneeze.”

            Suddenly you sneeze, making a rather interesting mess on the inside of your windshield. 

            “Big deal,” you say, “that was just a lucky guess.”

            “...and again…”

            Again, you sneeze.

            “…and again...”

            You guessed it.

            “Alright already!” you scream.  “Wait, you are making me sneeze!  That’s cheating!”

            “Yeah, and I’m also making one of your friends betray you, what’s your point?  Fact is, it is going to happen, so you might as well accept it.  I’m going to stop talking now and watch the hilarity ensue.  Dance, puppet,” chuckles the voice.  The radio stays silent.

            Ok, now you are fairly confident that one of your friends will betray you.  You go over the list of people you know are going to be at Beautiful Lake Doomhole™.  After much contemplating, you narrow the list down to three possibilities. 

            Suspect 1: Dave.  Dave has been your best friend for as long as you can remember.  You and Dave are closer than brothers.  You would (normally) trust Dave with your life, and vice versa.  All problems that have ever come up in your life, you have been able to get through because of Dave’s friendship.  There is nothing that you wouldn’t do for Dave if he asked.  However, you think Dave might know that you’ve been doing his girlfriend three times a week behind his back for the past 6 months.  Maybe Dave isn’t the friend you thought he was…the bastard.

            Suspect 2: Chris.  You’ve known Chris for about 2 years and have never had a problem with him.  It does concern you that he’s been taking up knife throwing and his practice target is a giant picture of you with the eyes cut out.  Man, some people just can’t deal with the fact that their dad walked in on their mom giving you a hummer causing an ugly divorce and custody battle…geez, what a crybaby….

            Suspect 3: Zorlath the Betrayer.  Actually, that’s just his D&D name.  No one can remember his real name.  Basically, you and your friends keep him around because he knows all the math answers and makes the rest of you feel better about yourselves by not being him. 

            You finally make it to Lake Doomhole, drive through the entrance, park your car, and meet up with everyone in the cabins.  You look around the room and locate Dave, Chris, and Zorlath the Betrayer.  After a few dozen drinking games, people start separating and spreading out around the camp for a little irresponsible romping or other such mischief. Now’s your chance to confront one of the three about betraying you.  Who will you follow?

            Do You Follow:

            Dave – 33

            Chris – 34

            Zorlath the Betrayer – 35